A How To Guide For Bagging Your Hottie

The Dating Game For Singles: How To Bag Your Hottie.

Step 1: You're both at a function of some sort: party, bar, birthday, fundraiser, etc. It's important to put yourself "out there." Being home all the time is pretty difficult to meet someone new and fun. Best functions to go to involve your friends inviting friends-of-friends so that if you guys meet you have a bit of a common background (i.e. You know Sarah, too? Cool! How'd you meet? etc.)

Step 2: When at the function you look and feel as best as you can. I know, especially after a break-up, one can feel like a total turd. My sense is that guys/girls totally pick up on that and stay away from your desperate eye contact. So, fake it 'til you make it. Put on a smart, somewhat sexy get-up that makes you feel confident, grab a beer, and stick with your friend group for a bit; laugh a lot, chat, look like you're having a great time.

Step 3: While pretending to listen to your friend talk about which flavor of lip gloss they have on, scope out your choices. This is a great time to select a target. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, try and choose maybe 2 or 3 guys/girls that you'd like to talk to.

Step 4: Approach target Number 3 first. I don't advise going in for the kill on Numero Uno right off the bat. Make some rounds about the room, cover some bases. Guy/Girl #3 may turn out to be eh, okay, but at least you managed to make a trip from the friend group. Keep an eye out for your number 1, odds are they may have noticed you looking in their direction and, therefore, you are on their radar.

Step 5: Find an in. Be creative here. This is the chance when you can make your way over to your number 1. Maybe #1 went to get another beer and you can saddle over and chat with their friends a bit. Nothing better than to be introduced through their friends "Tina, this is Josh. He's friends with Margot, we just met." Bingo!

Step 6: Begin zeroing in. Chat lightly. Nothing heavy or scary here. Be witty if you can, try not to feel nervous or desperate. You know you still have number 2 flitting around here somewhere so if this doesn't work you can make your way over to someone else. Laugh a lot. Maybe make contact a few times by lightly touching their arm. Make eye contact. Listen, don't let the eye roam unless you know this is not what you want.

Step 7: Go away for a while. Ok. You've made the introduction. You've chatted a bit. Don't smother. Politely make an excuse to bow out and make your way back to your friend group. Maybe grab another drink or see a friend you want to say hello to. Look popular, confident, but not like an asshole.

Step 8: Get your #1 to find you. Be conspicuous. Be open. But, let that person seek you out. Maybe you can try and chat with your #2 a bit here. Dance on the dance floor a little.

Step 9: If #1 finds you, you are on the gravy train. If they don't, make sure you say 'Bye' before leaving, thank them for a nice chat. They may want to talk a bit longer and then you can swap numbers.  Be open to possibilities, though. Try not to be crushed. Always remember there are plenty of fish in the sea.

If you and your number 1 really hit it off, then by all means let that conversation take you where you need to go. Hell, if it's a really great chat maybe you'll get to have a make-out. But, don't expect anything; just be ready for anything.

Hanging Out

Chilling out in the summer is hard to do unless one has an AC.

But, hanging out? Really relaxing in the company of others and feeding off the creative energy of their bodies, and not feeling pressure to speak or do or act unless one wants to is: in my opinion, truly a wonderful level of friendship to be enjoyed by only the closest of friends.

And what causes that comfort? That level of trust, to know that the people who also happen to be in the room will be totally content to stay in their underwear all day and maybe debate taking a shower and maybe have to get up at one point and announce that they'll be back after they take a dump?  That comes from love. A love of the people around you. A love that transcends a need for sex or for drama or for stimulation, a love that occurs when one can be happy just sitting in the same confines of the same four walls as other people.

When someone has that relationship with others, be they roommates, relatives, co-workers, or best friends, that's something special. Lovely. A romance with other relationships that aren't just a boyfriend or girlfriend.

I love hanging out with other people who also want to just hang out.

Oh, hello delicious summer afternoons. I'm loving the sweet flavor of your laid-back kisses.