"I feel like I'm eating cereal without milk with this guy." I said to my friend on the phone tonight. "Like, the crunchiness is good, and I really like cereal, but it's lacking a really important ingredient." I thought about the words coming out of my mouth. I've said these before, except more like in terms of Pizza. Dominos pizza. Oh my god, I've landed myself in a bowl of milk-less cereal with Cutie.
I sat down in my living room and joined my sister in her youtubing, internet surfing binge and thought about my life choices recently. Today, in the park where I had lunch with a couple of improv class mates, we discussed dating in New York. The brunette in our trio lamented her frustrations with finding reliably not-crazy men in this city and how even the not crazy ones are not in it for the long haul, or even the several week haul for that matter, it seems more like if something is amiss in even the slightest way, you just throw off the cloak of that person and pick out another hottie to start dating, because Lord knows there are a whooooole lot of hotties parading around this city all the time. I fought back a bit, using my logical answer of "As soon as I stopped caring, I found guys to start dating." Which has worked for me the last few months.
But, do I not care? I texted Cutie tonight to see if he was free and got a "Sorry I'm working late" response which I took to the next level of "Let's just call it here." I wished him luck with that late night project and then settled in to believing I'll never hear from him again. Jeesh, this cereal is crunchy and dry. And, I feel a little let down ...I thought I didn't really care!
Is everyone here in New York to be the best at their careers and just screw each other with no real emphasis on anything solid? I couldn't even tell you Cutie's favorite meal or any of the names of his siblings, and I've seen this guy a couple times. I do know he works hard, and that seems to be the real common denominator for everyone here. No one has free time. Hell, I don't have free time and I have a LOT of free time! But, not for hanging out. I have free time to surf the web and get a mani-pedi and do yoga and walk around aimlessly for hours, but for a trip to a hottie hot-spot? Nope. Too tired. Too busy. Even as I write this entry I think about how I could have stayed at the theatre I just watched improv at, and maybe struck up a couple of conversations with some hotties I saw walking in as I walked out.
Especially with this whole epidemic of weddings and babies I feel almost like I somehow got left behind a grade in the school of life. I don't feel old, nor do I feel as if all my good years are "Passing me by" but, I can now start to spill over onto my other hand with the number of people I know getting married and the number of people I know having babies is starting to rise as well.
I look at the "dry cereals" that walk the streets of this city and try not to become brittle and hard and cynical like so many of my girlfriends seem to be becoming as another less-than-great guy lets them down.
I need a vacation. New York is really great for a whole lot of things, but when it comes to dating, it can be pretty lame. Maybe I'll visit Chicago. Although, I hear Portland and Seattle have nothing but girl-starved guys. I have nothing but cereal over here! Let's get some substance into this meal and have a real breakfast!!
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