How to Move in

The 10 step guide: How to Move in to Your New Place.

Step 1:

FREAK OUT!

Step 2:

Calm yourself. Take some deep breaths. Call your mother.

Step 3:

Have Mom and some friends over and watch, in a slight stupor, as they pick up your life and move it somewhere else.

Step 4:

Go on vacation with a friend for a week and a half. Forget about how upside down everything is for a while.

Step 5:

Go back to your new address from your break and FREAK OUT.

Step 6:

Do some thumb sucking, slink around pulling on your baby blanket, and then start throwing stuff out.

Step 7:

Begin unpacking. Wipe down furniture. Move couches around. Drill holes to hang pictures.

Step 8:

Tell yourself: "This is my new home." And repeat.

Step 9:

Spread the word! The new place is wonderful and you all should come see it! (When it's finished...)

Step 10:

Come back after a long shift at work, trip on your own pair of shoes that you left by the door, then sigh with relief when you lie down in what now feels like your own bed.

This is what home feels like.